Thankful

Three weeks ago on Thanksgiving day I was not feeling very thankful.  I was short-sighted.  All I could see and feel was what I was going through at that moment and at that moment I was in extreme pain.  I couldn't walk or stand or sit or lay down without experiencing pain in my leg and pelvis.  I felt naseous and sick and was tired of throwing up.  I was miserable and did not have a very thankful heart.

Today I feel so blessed and so full.  Yes, things have gotten better with my pelvis and my nausea, but that is not why I am beyond thankful.  Yes, hindsight is 20/20 but that is not why I am feeling so humbled.  I am thankful because of what God has shown me in the last three weeks, what He has taught me through my family, friends, and community. 

You see I am a planner and a doer.  I don't like to admit when I need help or if I can't do something myself.  I am independent.  I am strong.  I am self-sufficient.  I can do it all.  But then you find yourself pregnant, nauseous, vomitting, and not able to walk.  I was broken.  And in that moment, I had people pour themselves in my family and myself in ways that I can't even start to describe.  At first, I wasn't willing to take any help.  Yes, I was incapable, but that didn't mean Jimmy was incapable.  My initial response was, "we're fine, we can handle it."  But then I saw the momentus task that stood before Jimmy--he had to be the head, the body, the arms, the legs, the heart, the mind for both me and EV.  And I started to see him slowly starting to wear down.  So finally, I said, "yes," hesitantly at first then desparately then gratefully. 

We had people come and bring us meals (and still bringing us meals), watch EV and take EV to the park or the ballet, come keep me company when I felt like I was going stir crazy, bring us treats, take me to target to buy Christmas gifts for EV, buy groceries for us, send us text messages and emails of encouragement, pray for us.  We had people not just ask us if we're okay, but provided for us. And through it all I was humbled and reminded of the love of Jesus.  There is no way we can repay everyone because what they did for us is priceless.  It's beyond a thank you card.  And although we can't put a monetary value to what they did for us, we want to say thank you from the very bottom of our hearts.  We are so blessed and so loved and so grateful.  We love you!

Furlough baby...literally

It took two and a half years of trying, a miscarriage, two 6cm cysts growing at the same time, chronic pelvic pain, and the government shutting down to get pregnant with baby number two.  So, at the time we got furloughed I was unhappy about it, but now I am so grateful for that time of rest because apparently that is what I needed to get pregnant.  It's such a God story. No matter how much we tried and tried on our own it was fruitless but the moment everything was out of our control and we just gave it up to Him, He shows up.  We never know at the time what God's plans are but to trust that they are good and that He has a purpose for us.  So, we have nicknamed this baby "Furly."

At 5 weeks, I do not feel anything like I did with EV.  With EV, I was sick from even before I had a positive pregnancy test.  The thought of food made me cringe and I did not have an appetite for anything.  With this one, all I can think about is food.  I'm not necessarily "hungry" but I have strong cravings for anything good.  I dream about having a full refrigerator filled with anything I want to eat.  I have a little nausea here and there but nothing horrible.  I am tired all the time and by the end of the day can barely keep my eyes open.  When they say that no two pregnancies are alike, it's so true.  You would think that because you've been pregnant once that you would know what your body would be like the second time around, but I feel like everything is new again, different, unknown.

Today, I am officially 9 weeks.  Last week we had the privilege of seeing our baby on an ultrasound.  We saw the heartbeat and the little one surrounded by a nice protective sac.  We also found out that there's a new test that looks for chromosomal anomalies and that can tell you the gender of your baby at 10 weeks!!  My has technology really progressed even in the short time between EV and this one.  The last few weeks have been tough, between the nausea, throwing up, and fatigue, I am amazed that I even make it to work much less make it through the day doing work.  However, if I threw up 10 times a day with EV, I'm only throwing up 2-3 times a day with this one.  So, in the bigger picture, I guess this one is "easier."  The thing that makes it hard with this one is even with the nausea and throwing up, I'm hungry.  At least with EV, I just didn't have an appetite and I was okay with not eating because it just made me sick.  With this one, even though food makes me sick, I still want it.

We also told EV this past week.  I've been having a lot of momma guilt for not being able to spend time with her and being literally glued to my bed or couch.  So, we told her and I think she's excited.  I say I think because she didn't jump up and down and react the way she would if we told her she could have ice cream after dinner, but she did proceed to tell all her friends at church the next day and she asks a lot of questions about the baby.  Maybe more than being excited, she's processing, cause she's like me, she's an analytical thinker, she's trying to understand what this means for our family and more importantly what this means for her. So far she's come to the conclusion that she will help rock the baby, change the baby's diaper, and share her toys with the baby.  She's also come to the conclusion that she wants a baby sister...

I will be 12 weeks tomorrow and I just made it Facebook official.  I have made so much progress in the last two weeks.  I woke up two weeks ago and couldn't walk.  I had extreme pain in my leg and pelvis.  Now, I can bear some weight on the leg and I even take a few steps without crutches.  My nausea has gotten a little better (I'm not sick and throwing up everyday).  Things are definitely starting to look a little brighter.

Oregon Trail

One thing I love about EV is how she loves to explore new places and do new things.  She has especially developed a love for traveling.  Earlier last month we went to the west coast for a friend's wedding and EV absolutely loved it.  It was so much fun seeing things through her eyes and hearing her articulate her thoughts and feelings.  If you've never been to the west coast, it's absolutely breathtaking and thanks to EV I think we were able to appreciate it even more. 

EV would exclaim, "Mommy, look at all that snow!!" and as I look at the window confused about what she is referring to, I smile as I see clouds covering the ocean and mountains.  I tell her, "EV that isn't snow, those are clouds."  And she exclaims, "Clouds?!?  On the ground?!?" 

Or another time when she looks outside and exclaims, "Mommy, look at all those stars!!  Which one is the Evangeline star?"  And I look up and am taken aback by how the sky is covered in stars.  How did I not notice all those stars before?  I then respond, "The Evangeline star is the biggest and the brightest" and then we proceed to try to find the biggest and the brightest in the midst of all the stars.

I loved how she was so content just playing in the sand and would say, "Mommy, I could do this all day!"

We also met a new friend on this trip.  They were two peas in a pod.  It was so great to have another little girl at the wedding.  EV loves new places and new faces.  It was a perfect ending to a perfect trip. It was a beautiful wedding with great friends against a breathtaking backdrop. Thank you David and Hannah for letting us be a part of you special day.  We love you!!

Take your time

How do you teach a 3.5 year old to slow down and take your time?  EV loves "working" in her workbooks.  We work on numbers, letters, spelling, and writing.  One of the workbooks we have is a connect the dots exercise.  Most of the time she just goes from one dot to the next without looking and then realizes that she wasn't going in the right order then gets frustrated because the picture is not right anymore and then doesn't want to do it.  I am always saying to her, "Slow down EV" and "Take your time."  Similarly when we are practicing writing, she's always rushing and then getting frustrated. She starts off so excited but then ends up just upset.  

I see so much of myself in her. She wants to do everything herself, in her mind she can do it perfectly, and she lacks the patience to actually learn the proper way.  Instead she takes over, tries, fails, gets frustrated and then doesn't want to deal with it again.  Evangeline, take your time sweetheart. Time will pass us by so quickly. Stop trying to grow up so fast. Lets enjoy every moment we have, be thankful to The Lord for our blessings, and make memories to last a lifetime.  Mistakes will be made, no one is perfect, and we love you regardless. 

Although Sometimes her wanting to do everything herself comes in handy!! 

Preschool

So, last week was EV's last week of school before she officially starts the preschool program at Mount Pisgah.  Although they have a curriculum and often call the toddler ages preschool, the 3 and 4 year old classes are considered the actual preschool program.  Transition and change is always so hard for EV.  Last year when she moved up to her current class, it took her about a month to really start participating in class.  We were told by the teachers that EV would just stand in the back and watch everyone but wouldn't actively participate.  They questioned her ability to understand and follow instructions, once she started trusting them and opened up, they realized it wasn't because she didn't understand, it was because she didn't want to participate.  EV's come a long way and she now loves her teachers, so it's going to be really hard for her to let those teachers go and come to trust her new teachers.

I on the other hand am really excited for the new year.  I love change and new things.  I am also excited to see all the new challenges and things EV will be able to learn this year.  I have mentioned previously that I haven't felt that EV's been challenged enough at school and we explored some other options.  We decided to stick with Mt. Pisgah because we felt that with EV's personality, a warm and loving envirnment was better for her than a more academic environment at this point in time.  But I do want her to be challenged and stretched too.  So, I'm hoping that this new class can provide some of that for her.

Strangely, when it comes to school things I tend to be really forgetful and neglectful.  Everything else I'm obsessive compulsive about but I forget almost everything school related.  I'm always making Jimmy run to the store to buy food coloring or valentine day cards or drinks on the day they are due at school.  But one thing I wanted to do for the teachers was a nice thank you gift.  I wanted something thoughtful but nothing extravagent.  So when I came across this Pinterest pin it got me super excited.  It was so easy to do, it came out looking beautiful, it was affordable, and it's something they can keep for a really long time.  It was perfect!!

Yesterday morning EV woke up saying she wasn't feeling well.  Then she proceeded to say, "I feel, I feel......nervous."  All the way to school she was talking about her old teacher saying how she would tie her hair and the things she would do for her.  Apparently when she got to school she didnt want to participate because "she was still waking up."  But when I went to go pick her up her teacher said she eventually warmed up and did really well.  So proud of her for overcoming her anxiety and for stepping out of her comfort zone!

I can't believe in two years she will be going to Kindergarten.  She already is such a great helper and communicator.  I can't imagine how much more she will grow and develop in just two short years.

Museums, zoos, and pirates

Last week we went up to Maryland to visit Jimmy's family.  We decided to drive this time and  instead of doing it through the night we thought we would take our time, make multiple stops, and make a day of it.  I was so proud of EV because not only did she do great on the drive up and down (I'm sure being able to watch DVDs for the first time helped a lot with passing the time) but she was so well-behaved on this trip.  I think I've said this before but I feel like anytime we go on a trip EV grows and matures leaps and bounds. 

The week before this trip, EV had learned about outerspace and planets so one of the first places she wanted to go was the Air and Space Museum.  She pointed out that the last time we went there we made her take a nap and that she wasn't able to see much.  Unfortunately, our camera was out of batteries but take my word she loved it.  Afterwards she was ready to see another museum.  Museum, museum, museum was the word of the week.

We also made it to the National Zoo.  Although it was her third time to that zoo, there were many new things and things we didn't see before.  We started early and thank goodness cause it got way too hot to do anything in the afternoon.  My favorite comment that day was when I said, "Ohhh EV, look at those crocodiles!!" and EV responded, "Yeah mommy!!  And look at all that sand!!!"  Hahahaha. 

One day we went to Annapolis and did a pirate adventure on a ship.  EV's reaction was not what I was hoping for--she was scared.  I thought she would enjoy dressing up, getting fake tattoos, pretending to be a pirate, and running around on a ship with a bunch of other kids.  But no, she was a little freaked out and didn't want to participate (until they found the treasure chest and gave out treasures).  It didn't help that it was scorching hot.  I think towards the end she enjoyed it a little at least the shooting the "bad guy" with water, finding the treasure chest, and being on a boat parts.  At least we got to be out on the water and had some seafood for lunch.

We can't forget the Maryland blue crabs.  EV LOVED the crabs.  She inhaled it faster than we can dig it out and put it on her plate.  And last but not least spending time with family.  EV is so endearing and loves being with family.  It doesn't matter if she only sees them once or twice a year.  When she doesn't see them, she talks constantly about them and remembers the smallest details.  She especially loves her uncle Tom.  It's always good to see family--we miss you all and love you all very much.  Hope to see you again very soon!

Memorial Day Weekend

Last year we planned to go to Puerto Rico with my parents and sister/brother-in-law, but once we started our renovations, we knew that we would have to tone down our trip.  So, we decided to keep it low key and go to our timeshare.  EV is always saying, I like doing things as a family, so that is exactly what we did.  We filled our weekend with mountain adventures from Friday morning to Monday afternoon. We tried to balance activities, rest, and cost.  So, we went out in the mornings, packed a lunch, came back for a nap, and did "free" activities at the resort.  So, here's a brief overview of our itinerary

Friday: Outlet shopping, swimming pool, mini golf
Saturday: Dillard House for breakfast, Tallulah Gorge for hiking, nap, swimming pool, mini golf
Sunday:  Horseback riding/petting farm/fishing at Sunburst Stables, nap, swimming pool, park
Monday:  Strawberry picking at Mercier Orchards, dinner with rest of the family

EV loves being out and about, trying new things, annd making new dicoveries.  So, to put it simply, EV had a blast.  Coming back Monday and waking up early Tues was hard for all of us.  Getting back into a routine was even harder.  These pictures pretty much sum up our trip.