Three weeks ago on Thanksgiving day I was not feeling very thankful. I was short-sighted. All I could see and feel was what I was going through at that moment and at that moment I was in extreme pain. I couldn't walk or stand or sit or lay down without experiencing pain in my leg and pelvis. I felt naseous and sick and was tired of throwing up. I was miserable and did not have a very thankful heart.
Today I feel so blessed and so full. Yes, things have gotten better with my pelvis and my nausea, but that is not why I am beyond thankful. Yes, hindsight is 20/20 but that is not why I am feeling so humbled. I am thankful because of what God has shown me in the last three weeks, what He has taught me through my family, friends, and community.
You see I am a planner and a doer. I don't like to admit when I need help or if I can't do something myself. I am independent. I am strong. I am self-sufficient. I can do it all. But then you find yourself pregnant, nauseous, vomitting, and not able to walk. I was broken. And in that moment, I had people pour themselves in my family and myself in ways that I can't even start to describe. At first, I wasn't willing to take any help. Yes, I was incapable, but that didn't mean Jimmy was incapable. My initial response was, "we're fine, we can handle it." But then I saw the momentus task that stood before Jimmy--he had to be the head, the body, the arms, the legs, the heart, the mind for both me and EV. And I started to see him slowly starting to wear down. So finally, I said, "yes," hesitantly at first then desparately then gratefully.
We had people come and bring us meals (and still bringing us meals), watch EV and take EV to the park or the ballet, come keep me company when I felt like I was going stir crazy, bring us treats, take me to target to buy Christmas gifts for EV, buy groceries for us, send us text messages and emails of encouragement, pray for us. We had people not just ask us if we're okay, but provided for us. And through it all I was humbled and reminded of the love of Jesus. There is no way we can repay everyone because what they did for us is priceless. It's beyond a thank you card. And although we can't put a monetary value to what they did for us, we want to say thank you from the very bottom of our hearts. We are so blessed and so loved and so grateful. We love you!
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Furlough baby...literally
It took two and a half years of trying, a miscarriage, two 6cm cysts growing at the same time, chronic pelvic pain, and the government shutting down to get pregnant with baby number two. So, at the time we got furloughed I was unhappy about it, but now I am so grateful for that time of rest because apparently that is what I needed to get pregnant. It's such a God story. No matter how much we tried and tried on our own it was fruitless but the moment everything was out of our control and we just gave it up to Him, He shows up. We never know at the time what God's plans are but to trust that they are good and that He has a purpose for us. So, we have nicknamed this baby "Furly."
At 5 weeks, I do not feel anything like I did with EV. With EV, I was sick from even before I had a positive pregnancy test. The thought of food made me cringe and I did not have an appetite for anything. With this one, all I can think about is food. I'm not necessarily "hungry" but I have strong cravings for anything good. I dream about having a full refrigerator filled with anything I want to eat. I have a little nausea here and there but nothing horrible. I am tired all the time and by the end of the day can barely keep my eyes open. When they say that no two pregnancies are alike, it's so true. You would think that because you've been pregnant once that you would know what your body would be like the second time around, but I feel like everything is new again, different, unknown.
Today, I am officially 9 weeks. Last week we had the privilege of seeing our baby on an ultrasound. We saw the heartbeat and the little one surrounded by a nice protective sac. We also found out that there's a new test that looks for chromosomal anomalies and that can tell you the gender of your baby at 10 weeks!! My has technology really progressed even in the short time between EV and this one. The last few weeks have been tough, between the nausea, throwing up, and fatigue, I am amazed that I even make it to work much less make it through the day doing work. However, if I threw up 10 times a day with EV, I'm only throwing up 2-3 times a day with this one. So, in the bigger picture, I guess this one is "easier." The thing that makes it hard with this one is even with the nausea and throwing up, I'm hungry. At least with EV, I just didn't have an appetite and I was okay with not eating because it just made me sick. With this one, even though food makes me sick, I still want it.
We also told EV this past week. I've been having a lot of momma guilt for not being able to spend time with her and being literally glued to my bed or couch. So, we told her and I think she's excited. I say I think because she didn't jump up and down and react the way she would if we told her she could have ice cream after dinner, but she did proceed to tell all her friends at church the next day and she asks a lot of questions about the baby. Maybe more than being excited, she's processing, cause she's like me, she's an analytical thinker, she's trying to understand what this means for our family and more importantly what this means for her. So far she's come to the conclusion that she will help rock the baby, change the baby's diaper, and share her toys with the baby. She's also come to the conclusion that she wants a baby sister...
I will be 12 weeks tomorrow and I just made it Facebook official. I have made so much progress in the last two weeks. I woke up two weeks ago and couldn't walk. I had extreme pain in my leg and pelvis. Now, I can bear some weight on the leg and I even take a few steps without crutches. My nausea has gotten a little better (I'm not sick and throwing up everyday). Things are definitely starting to look a little brighter.
At 5 weeks, I do not feel anything like I did with EV. With EV, I was sick from even before I had a positive pregnancy test. The thought of food made me cringe and I did not have an appetite for anything. With this one, all I can think about is food. I'm not necessarily "hungry" but I have strong cravings for anything good. I dream about having a full refrigerator filled with anything I want to eat. I have a little nausea here and there but nothing horrible. I am tired all the time and by the end of the day can barely keep my eyes open. When they say that no two pregnancies are alike, it's so true. You would think that because you've been pregnant once that you would know what your body would be like the second time around, but I feel like everything is new again, different, unknown.
Today, I am officially 9 weeks. Last week we had the privilege of seeing our baby on an ultrasound. We saw the heartbeat and the little one surrounded by a nice protective sac. We also found out that there's a new test that looks for chromosomal anomalies and that can tell you the gender of your baby at 10 weeks!! My has technology really progressed even in the short time between EV and this one. The last few weeks have been tough, between the nausea, throwing up, and fatigue, I am amazed that I even make it to work much less make it through the day doing work. However, if I threw up 10 times a day with EV, I'm only throwing up 2-3 times a day with this one. So, in the bigger picture, I guess this one is "easier." The thing that makes it hard with this one is even with the nausea and throwing up, I'm hungry. At least with EV, I just didn't have an appetite and I was okay with not eating because it just made me sick. With this one, even though food makes me sick, I still want it.
We also told EV this past week. I've been having a lot of momma guilt for not being able to spend time with her and being literally glued to my bed or couch. So, we told her and I think she's excited. I say I think because she didn't jump up and down and react the way she would if we told her she could have ice cream after dinner, but she did proceed to tell all her friends at church the next day and she asks a lot of questions about the baby. Maybe more than being excited, she's processing, cause she's like me, she's an analytical thinker, she's trying to understand what this means for our family and more importantly what this means for her. So far she's come to the conclusion that she will help rock the baby, change the baby's diaper, and share her toys with the baby. She's also come to the conclusion that she wants a baby sister...
I will be 12 weeks tomorrow and I just made it Facebook official. I have made so much progress in the last two weeks. I woke up two weeks ago and couldn't walk. I had extreme pain in my leg and pelvis. Now, I can bear some weight on the leg and I even take a few steps without crutches. My nausea has gotten a little better (I'm not sick and throwing up everyday). Things are definitely starting to look a little brighter.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)