Bronchiolitis

After having a runny nose for a week and a half (during the snow storm), and an occasional cough the last week, you started wheezing today.  At first I thought you were getting congested again but after I cleaned out your nose, it was obvious that you were having difficulty breathing.  I called the Pediatrician's office and they sent us to an urgent care center.  The doctor immediately saw that you were wheezing and after checking you out, said that you had bronchiolitis.  I had no idea what that really meant, but all of a sudden I had a rush of guilt.  Did I cause this?  Should I have brought you in earlier?  Were you in extreme pain? Did I expose other kids to something contagious?

They gave you an oxygen breathing treatment and some steroids for the inflammation in the lungs.  You also got an inhaler for the rest of the week.  Unfortunately, all these things can only decrease the symptoms but there is nothing they can give you to make it go away.  It's supposed to improve on its own.  Although you are in terrible discomfort, thankfully it's not anything I could have predicted with your cold, they probably wouldn't have been able to do anything for you if I brought you in earlier or have prevented this from happening, and bronchiolitis is not contagious.

That's all to say that in the last two weeks, other than having a drippy nose and an occasional cough, you showed no signs of discomfort or pain.  It wasn't until today that you complained and even today, the only thing that was really evident was that you were not eating how you normally eat or after playing you would get easily tired.  You would even come crawling into my lap, rest your head, and then get back up to play.  Then you started wheezing.  That's when I knew that something was wrong and my heart started pounding in my throat.  EV, I know I said this before, but please don't hold in your pain.  Let momma know.  It hurts me so deeply to know that you are in such discomfort!!  You are the bravest baby I know.  I love you!

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

What a gorgeous day today!  After being cooped up in the house and getting chapped in the face from the cold, we had a very nice, warm, relaxing day at the park today.  EV all your life you have hated the sun, grass, swings, and most things associated with the outdoors.  But today was different; you actually enjoyed yourself.  You were having fun watching all the kids, you didn't mind the swing or the sun, and you even touched the grass (although you refused to touch it again after the first time).  You also took your first steps at the park today!!!!  You were standing and then took two unassisted steps to get to daddy.  I am so looking forward to spring and summer!

Where is baby's belly button?

EV said her first word outside of "umma" and "appa"today right before bed--you said "baby" three times!!!  There is this book you absolutely adore called Where is Baby's Belly Button? In the book it asks, "where are baby's eyes?" and then you pull a flap and it says, "under her hat!" Or "where is baby's nose?" and you pull the flap and it says, "behind the cup!"  We read this book over and over again like most of your other books, you know exactly what flaps to pull and you always point to the baby.  Well this time, I asked, "where is baby's nose?" you looked up at me and at first it sounded like you said "baba" so I thought you were saying "appa" and so I said, "he's at work but you'll see him in the morning."  Next page, "where are baby's feet?"  You pulled the tab, pointed to the baby, looked up at me and said very clearly, "baby."  *In shock* I said, where's the baby?  And again, you pointed to the baby and said "baby."  Turned the page and again you said, "baby."  At this point I'm so excited that I can't contain myself, "where's the baby? EV, where's the baby? EV can you say baby?"  You are annoyed with me and move on to your next book.  I missed my photo opportunity because I wanted to hear you say "baby" one more time but here is a photo of your bent up book.  Momma is so proud of you little one!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Don't get me wrong, I think EV is the most beautiful baby in the world, but that's the thing, I thought I would be the type of momma that tells it like it is.  I would be able to look at my baby and acknowledge the flaws but love her regardless.  Apparently, I'm the type of momma that sees beauty and none of the flaws.  Not to say that EV has flaws, but as I was looking through old photos and videos of when EV was around 2-3 months old, I was so amazed at how chunky she was looking.  She was so tiny when she was born and I knew she got chubby pretty quickly but she was looking like a different baby in these photos.  So, I went to show Jimmy, and at first he says, "whoa, whose baby is that" then he says, "yeah, she was a chubby baby."  I thought to myself, "I can't believe she was that chubby, I never saw it at the time."  So, I asked Jimmy, "is she still chubby?"  And he says, "she's thinned out a lot but she's still chubby."  I know she's got some meat on her bones, but when I look at her I don't see chubby, I see the most beautiful baby in the world.  Every time I look at her I'm amazed at how beautiful she is, I can't believe she's mine, and I fall in love with her all over again.  Oh my, I'm one of those mommas!!  Jimmy says, "maybe that's why my parent's let me let go with my weight [because they didn't see chubby]."  I hope I'm not this disillusioned when it comes to her behavior or her abilities.

EV (3.5 months):

My dreamy date

Sometimes it's so hard to remember what life was like before having EV.  Our weeks, days, hours, minutes are so consumed by the baby's schedule and we really wouldn't have it any other way.  Well, a friend insisted that she watches EV so that Jimmy and I can go on a date.  We've gone to the movies twice since EV's been born and have not had any real alone time otherwise.  We were very very grateful for the opportunity to have an afternoon alone together.  Jimmy even sent me an email of all that we could do on our day alone together.  So, we packed up EV's things, dropped her off, and away we go on our first day trip date.  We decided to take a drive up to Dawsonville, check out the outlets, walk around, and just spend time together.  As we were there, we kept on looking around thinking we lost EV.  All I see around me are little babies and couldn't help but wish EV was there with me.  After about two hours of wandering around, Jimmy and I both had a hankering for something sweet.  So, we went to go look for a bakery.  Jimmy knew of a donut place nearby but when we got there they were closed and of  course that just made me want something sweet even more.  So, that's what we did the next hour, look for a nearby bakery.  It's amazing how few bakeries there are around here.  We didn't know what else to do and we were missing EV, so we headed back home.  That's when we found a bakery, stopped by, picked up some sweets for us and our friends, and picked EV up.  We had a good day and it seems like EV had a good day, too.  I never thought it would be so hard to keep ourselves busy without our daughter, but it was important for us to spend time together and I wouldn't have picked anyone else to spend my day with other than my dreamy hubby, Jimmy.  I love you, sweetheart; you made my day today, even if it wasn't what we imagined.

This is the picture sent to me while on my date. EV fast asleep:

"Why can't you be more like EV?"

This is what grandpapa said to grandmomma when she stubbed her toe.  EV, you are one of the most stoic babies I have ever met.  Pain does not seem to bother you. When you were a newborn (only a few days old) we had to take you into the hospital a couple times to draw blood.  The first time was a heel prick to check for jaundice and the nurse warned us that babies cry and scream.  You just sat there staring at us, unphased.  The next time was a little more serious (you had an abnormal metabolic screen) and they had to draw blood from your arm.  They tied the rubber band around your tiny tiny little arm and stuck the big needle in, and again, you just stared at us, unphased.  You have had two colds up until now and if we didn't get sick from you, we would never have known how miserable you really felt, because you play, eat, and sleep as if everything was just right.  You never complain, whine, or show any discomfort.  For a little while I even thought you had a disorder where you did not feel pain but thankfully you gave a big cry when they stuck you with three needles to get vaccinated.  You did not cry long but I was relieved that you felt pain.  Sweetheart, you are going to experience so much as you grow up, both good and bad.  I want you to talk to us about it all.  You do not need to hold it in, you do not need to be a hero.  We are always here for you and even more importantly God is here for you.

Gina eemo bought these cute hairbows for you today.  Pic 1--you are reading your current favorite book.  Pic 2--you are helping momma clean up:

Communication

Happy 10 months my precious baby girl!  I cannot believe how much you've grown, and although a part of me is excited to see all the new things you will continue to do, a part of me wants you to stay just the way you are.  It's amazing how much I've learned about communication since becoming a parent, both verbal and non-verbal.  Although EV only verbally says umma and appa, you communicate so much through your eyes, hand gestures, points, shouts (you "ah ah" really loudly when you want something done now), grunts, sighs, signs, and other body movements to show your satisfaction or dissatisfaction.  I know when you want something done, like opening a bag because you want the inside contents or reading a particular book.  Or when you want to know what something is, you'll point to it and look at me with curious eyes.  I also know when I've misinterpreted your gestures, because you will continue to "explain" and "ah ah" at me until I get it right.  For example, you crawled over to me this morning with your boots and threw them into my lap.  So, I said, "yes EV, these are your shoes," and I laid them aside.  You looked at me as if wasn't listening to you, grabbed your boots and put them back in my lap.  So, again I said, "yes EV, these are your shoes, they go on your feet, where's EV's feet?"  You then gave a loud sigh (which you do often when you get frustrated or annoyed) and proceeded to grab the shoes and start patting them against your feet.  Then I had my "aha" moment, "ohhhhh, you want umma to put your shoes on right now!"  So, I put your shoes on, and you happily started standing, cruising, and playing.

Here you are happily taking your blocks in and out of the bucket with your shoes on in your pj's:

You also have a good understanding of verbal communication.  So often you try to say things to us but all we hear is "ahh ba ba bahhhh ma ai oh oh ba"but amazingly you speak gibberish with inflections and sometimes it even sounds like a question.  I cannot wait until we are able to sit and talk.  I want to know all that you are thinking, feeling, craving, seeing, experiencing.  I love you, beautiful!  Thanks for all the laughs and aha moments.