Disconnet to Reconnect

There was recently an article on NPR about when parents are too distracted by their devices and it really convicted me.  When EV was first born, I noticed how our lives were so dictated by what TV show was on that day and after discussing with Jimmy we made the decision to get rid of our TV.  Since then, we have gotten comfortable again or should I say distracted.  Like the article, there are times when I see myself telling EV to hold on or not engaging her just so I can answer a text message, look at my email, peruse Facebook, or keep up with the latest Instagram photo.  And get this, I'm not even keeping up with my friends, it's to keep up with all the small business or moms group that I follow.  I complain that I don't have enough time with EV and Emmett but I seem to find the time to keep up-to-date with all my social media.  I get anxious if I don't answer a text or an email within the hour I get it (yes, this is a problem I have at work as well) and I have become glued to my phone to the point where I sleep with it in my bed.  I also don't want to teach EV and Emmett that it's okay to be consumed by these devices or that my text messaging is more important than her.

This is all to say that I feel convicted to disconnect from my devices, so that I can reconnect with my family. 

What does this mean?  I vow to:

1.  Put away my phone and not look at it until after EV and Emmett is down for bed and asleep.  If you call or text between the hours of 5 and 8, I will not respond. 
2.  During the week, not check Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or any other social media.  And on the weekends, I will only check these social media outlets while EV is napping or in the evenings after she is asleep.
3.  Now this is more for me in general and will be really really hard.  Limit my Korean drama watching to one show a evening at the most.

So, there you have it everyone.  My time is limited and precious.  I do not want to waste it away on media devices.  I want to maximize my time with my family and if by putting away my devices I can spend an extra 30 mins hanging out with EV or an extra 30 mins having a conversation with my husband--that is priceless.

Pretend Play

Let me just tell you--I suck at pretend play.  I hate coming up with stories; I don't have the greatest imagination; and I don't have the energy to jump, roar, or be animated in any way.  But here's the problem, EV LOVES pretend play.  One of the first things she asks when she wakes up is if she can play in her room, and she'll play with her little figurines and stuffed animals by herself for nearly an hour (or until she can't hold off on morning hunger anymore).  If you look in her playroom or her bedroom, there are these mini-vingnettes set up everywhere.  Some of her animals have tea set up before them, some of them are laying in boxes getting ready for bed, some scenerio for everyone.  And she takes every item in the house to use as props (no towel, hair tie, domino, board game pieces are safe).  So, as you can imagine, our house becomes an absolute mess but in her eyes they are all set up for a particular scenario. 

I have no problem with her playing pretend by herself.  It's also amusing to watch her and Jimmy play because he can really get into it and EV loves it.  But, I hate it and I feel absolutely guilty for hating it.  I try and try but after about 5 minutes, I can't think of anything new.  My stories are the same and I just get tired of having every stuffed animal doing the same ballet routine or every little princess figurine doing a special song for the stage.  I would much rather do something more practical or read her a book or talk about our day or even do a craft. 

Today was a rainy day so we decided to "play" with one of EV's birthday gifts called Shrinky Dinks. Let me tell you, this is one of the most genius crafts. EV spent hours coloring her shrinky dink fairies, flowers, gnomes, animals. Then we spent hours setting up the forest. Then we watched them shrink in the oven. I was able to spend hours with her putting everything together and even coming up with a couple stories. She was so into it that she didn't care when I wanted to stop "playing" and Jimmy was able to easily pick up where I left off.  It was the perfect compromise between crafting and pretend play.  Thank you Eunice and Eileen for this amazing craft/pretend gift.

If anybody has any other good pretend play ideas, please pass them along to me.  I know I'm not going to be good at everything that EV likes to do but I feel bad for never wanting to do the one thing she ALWAYS wants to do.  I already have enough momma guilt for feeling like I don't spend enough time with her.  So, I am grateful for days like today when I can enjoy the time I am spending with her. 

Now that I'm 4 does that mean I'm a grown-up?

I cannot believe that my baby girl is already 4 years old.  She's so anxious to hurry up and grow up but I want her to slow down and enjoy every moment.  It's amazing how much she's like me.  I remember wanting to grow-up fast, to be independent, and "live my life."  Here's what I wish someone said to me:

"Shin Young, you are going to have the majority of your life to be an adult, where you will be responsible for not only yourself but for those around you.  Growing up doesn't mean living your life, but in many ways it means losing your freedom.  Don't get me wrong, being a grown up definitely has its perks, like not having a curfew or making your own choices.  But even when you can sleep whenever you want, you find yourself sleeping early cause you have to wake up early to go to work and get your family ready for the day.  And even though you can make your own choices, you are always weighing all the consequences and sometimes those choices feel heavy and hard.  Shin Young, I want you to enjoy your childhood and your youth.  I want you to take chances, seek adventure, and pursue your dreams.  Adulthood, responsibility, independence will be there when you're ready for it so take your time getting there.  It's okay to make mistakes, learn from them, and to become stronger as a result.  We will always be here for you, supporting you, loving you, and helping you along the way.  We love you!"

So, whenever EV says she can't wait to grow-up, those are the words I am going to say to her. 

The last 4 years has been such an amazing blessing.  Evangeline, you light up our world.  You are one of the funniest, sweetest, most stubborn, smartest, fun-loving, precocious little girl I know.  You challenge me everyday and remind me of God's love and grace.  I am so thankful for who you are and the little girl you are becoming. I always thought you were just a strong-willed and stubborn toddler that only wanted things your way, but these days you have been showing yourself to be sensitive, loving, and compassionate.  I look forward to seeing how you grow and mature, especially as you become an older sister.  Words cannot describe how much we love you and how much we cherish every moment we get with you.  No, no, no, no, no, I LOVE YOU!!!

The Circus

Last winter we went up to spend Christmas with Jimmy's family in Maryland and decided to make a trip up to NYC while we were up there.  We went to the Big Apple Circus and it was so much fun to see EV just mesmorized.  Unfortunately, she didn't seem to remember much from the trip so when we found out that the Big Apple Circus would be in Atlanta, we bought tickets immediately.  I am so glad we went!  First off, it was last Friday after all the snow frenzy so it was just nice to get out of the house.  Second, we had the best seats--second section, first row. Not only were we able to see everything but we were part of the show!  Jimmy got to throw the clowns hat onto his head and EV got a balloon heart made for her. That's what I love about this circus, it's intimate and they engage their audience.  We could literally reach out our hands and touch the horses and dogs if we wanted.  I love how we were all laughing one moment and on the edge of our seats the next. And most of all I loved glimpsing over at EV and seeing her eyes wide with wonder and curiosity. 

All in all, it was a lot of fun and we are hoping to make this a Kim Family Tradition.

Daddy's Home!

What a crazy week!  Not only was daddy out of town which makes the week already stressful but we were trapped at home because of 2 inches of snow.  I'm not going to talk about how Atlanta literally shut down this week but I am very thankful that we were safe at home and all family members were accounted for.  Now don't get me wrong, I love spending time with EV but there is only so much time you can spend playing the same games, having the same conversations, reading the same books, eating the same foods and watching the same shows.  It was only three days but by Thursday afternoon, one thing was clear, EV was tired of me and I was tired of EV.  As my mom said in her broken English, "The hulk has come out."  She didn't want to do anything, she was cranky, she was easily irritable, she just wasn't very pleasant to be around...and neither was I.

Then late Thursday afternoon daddy came home and it literally felt like EV became a whole different person.  She was giddy with excitment, she kept flapping her arms because she was so happy, she started singing, she would blow me kisses and winks, she was all smiles from ear to ear.  Often times when she responds this way, I have a hard time with it because it feels like she prefers daddy over me, but this time I was right there with her giddy with excitment, talking jimmy's ear off, smiling from ear to ear.  The funny thing is, it wasn't just our interactions with daddy but our interactions with each other that changed.  We wanted to spend time with each other again and all crankiness went away.

So last night, while EV made pizza with daddy, we were all talking, laughing, and enjoying each other's company.  I am sure jimmy was exhasted from his trip but he never once complained or showed his tiredness.  He engaged us and spent time with us knowing how much we needed him, how much we missed him, and how much we loved him.

 

Hooked on Phonics

EV has loved to read since before she could talk.  She always wanted us to read the same book over and over and over and over and over and over again.  When she learned to talk, she would take a book and make up stories and pretend to read to her stuffed animals.  Now she just memorizes the books we read to her, some of them word for word, and will "read" us back the stories exactly how she memorized it.  So, obviously, it seems the natural next step would be to actually learn how to read. 

At first, I just jumped right into it.  I would say, "EV, what word is this?"  EV would look at what letter it starts with, find a picture on the page that starts with that letter, and make up a word.  Then I would say, "No, EV, sound it out."  Then she would proceed to do the same thing.  What was I doing wrong?  Why couldn't she read?  So then I thought maybe we can start with spelling.  I would ask her, "EV how do you spell CAT?"  EV would then say, "I don't know, mommy, I don't want to play this game!"  I would respond, "EV, it's so simple just sound it out."  EV would then start, "C--EKJPT"  Then I would say, "You're not taking this seriously!"

After feeling frustrated, I had a take a step back and realize that first of all she didn't understand what I meant by "sound it out."  Second, I haven't taught her anything, I just expected her to start reading.  Last, I wasn't making it fun.  I was taking all the fun out of her excitment for books and pretend reading.  So, I started reading some articles and I re-approached the situation.

I first asked her if she wanted to learn to read.  When she responded yes, we took out a piece of paper and pen and I started with words that started with A-T.  For the first week we worked on CAT, FAT, HAT, SAT, MAT, PAT.  Then I found an app that reinforced exactly the same thing starting with words that ended in "AT."  I rewarded her with kiddy tattoos.  Then the next week we were reading words that ended in A-N and worked on words like TAN, VAN, RAN, PAN, CAN.  And she picked it up even faster.  Now when I say, "sound it out."  You hear her say, "Pppppppp--ahhhhhhh-nnnnnnnn...PAN!!!"  When I come home from work, she runs to me with her notebook and pen and asks if we can learn more words.  What a world of a difference.

I honestly don't care if she's reading or not.  I know she will learn how to read eventually, but I also don't like it when she tells us she's bored and doesn't feel challenged.  It was also obvious that she was ready to read.  So, this was the natural next step in her learning.  It was the sweetest thing when she said to me, "Mommy, I love learning how to read, even though its a little hard sometimes!"  So, never stop challenging your kid but always remember to make it fun!

Back to Reality

So, the last two months have been very crazy for me--not the typical busy with too many projects and living life crazy, but the stuck in bed, not myself, helpless type of crazy.  But with the start of a new year are new goals and a renewed spirit.  After having two weeks off from work and having done literally NOTHING in those two weeks, I am ready to tackle this pregnancy, my family, my work, my life in a whole new light.  Two lessons I've learned:  Take my time and Listen to your body.

So, I started back at work last week and even made it into the office (which requires getting dressed, putting on making, doing my hair, and walking).  I signed EV up for ballet.  I hosted small group in my house.  These may seem like easy everyday tasks but it really required a lot of energy and effort.

My goals for the next few months:
-Start planning for EV's birthday party
-Journal more
-Clean out Emmett's room and paint it
-Spend more time with EV
-Go on a date with Jimmy

Getting out of the house definitely helps with getting me more motivated.  I'm hoping that once the nausea subsides, I'll really have the energy to spend time with my loved ones and do more activities.

This little girl has been stealing my heart.  

My strong-willed child has been showing herself to be loving and compassionate and it brings me to tears.  When my days are bad, EV will come and tell me, "I know it's hard," "I love you, mommy," "get some rest and it'll be better in the morning."  She'll hug me and kiss me and just sit next to me while holding my hand.  And when she tells me that instead of making her sad, it makes her happy to be able to let me rest, it makes me want to hurry up and get better so that I can be there for her and hold her and tell her that everything is okay. 

So yup, it's back to reality--2014 here we come ready or not!