Obsessive Compulsive

My mom, sister and myself have varying degrees of being obsessive compulsive. My mom takes ridiculously long showers at least two times a day. She is as squeaky clean as a human can possibly get. My sister has to have everything in order. It drives her absolutely nuts to see things misplaced. And I like a routine--not just your typical day to day things but weird things like if I start a notebook in blue pen then the whole notebook has to be in blue pen. We all have a little bit of the other things but these are the things that set us off the quickest.

So, I have been noticing that EV has been displaying more and more obsessive compulsiveness. She always had moments--for example, when she eats, she doesn't like it when her food touches each other and she also doesn't like it when she has a food item she doesn't want on her plate. She can't just ignore it, it has to be removed. The other day, she got really upset with me because she was placing stickers on a piece of paper when I wanted to help. So, I asked if I could help and at the same time I placed a piece on the paper. She got so upset because I placed a yellow triangle on the paper but there were still a few pink ovals left. She said, "Mommy, no!!! You can't start the triangles until you finish the ovals! You messed it all up!" She was very upset and didn't want to play with the stickers anymore.

I think she inherited my weird obsessiveness of needing routine. Yes, it bothers her if her hands are sticky and yes she likes to sort and organize things but the thing that bothers her the most is when things are not done a certain way. Just like me. I think the greatest challenge is to teach her flexibility and that it's okay when deep inside its driving me crazy too. It's so humbling when you see your own flaws through your kids!

Daddy's Little Girl

I left the house this morning upset and frustrated with EV.  I am not proud of the fact that I left without saying good-bye to her or the fact that I got mad at her, but I can't help but feel hurt when she acts like this.  I know she is not even 3 years old yet, but that makes it even worse because it seems more genuine.

Since the day EV was born she was a daddy's little girl.  Her first words were daddy and her first joke was when I told her to say "I love you, mommy," she would look at me in the eyes and say, "I love you, daddy."  Daddy can do no wrong.  Now don't get me wrong, I love the fact that she loves her daddy and I love the father Jimmy is, but what's hard is when it is constantly all about daddy.

Last night EV woke up crying.  She's been having some bad dreams lately and would wake up hysterical.  The first thing she asks for is daddy.  So, I went into EV's room to console her but when she saw me she lost it.  She started flapping her arms and kicking her legs like a crazy person and started to scream even louder for daddy.  This isn't the first time, in fact, this happens all the time.  So, eventually, Jimmy woke up and soothed EV back to sleep.

When she woke up this morning, the first thing she asks is, "where's daddy?"  Daddy on Tuesday mornings goes to this thing called breakfast club where he meets with students before school starts at a local restuarant.  Then for the next few minutes all she does is whine, "I want to go to daddy, I want to go to breafast club, I want daddy."  That's when I lost it.  I said, "Fine, why don't you go outside and look for daddy then."  Thankfully, Jimmy got home at that point.  EV was estatic.  I was fuming.

I know that EV loves me and she shows me her love in different ways.  There are also moments, far and few between, when she wants mommy.  It's usually when I'm on travel or when daddy's on a retreat.  I cherish those moments and take every bit of what I can.  I love EV, I love Jimmy, and I hate that it makes me upset that EV prefers Jimmy over me.  I hope if we ever have baby #2 that he or she will be a mommy's boy or girl.

Liar, Liar

I have really been enjoying having a toddler.  Evangeline, you are such a vibrant little girl with a big smile and a big personality.  But with all the things I enjoy, there have been things that have been challenging and frustrating.  One of those things we have been dealing with more and more is lying.  At first, when we caught you in a lie, you would say that you were just "pretending."  Then "pretending" turned into "forgetting."  And now it's just straight up lying. 

This past weekend, we went to go visit aunt Gina (eemo).  When we got to eemo's house, EV and uncle Chris went downstairs to play with Happy (their dog).  Apparently uncle Chris fell asleep and EV watched some TV with Chris's mom.  Well, at home we do not let EV watch TV and she has to ask before she plays with our phone or iPad.  So, when eemo and mommy started asking what she did downstairs, she started avoiding eye contact. 

Then I asked her: "EV, did you watch TV with grandma downstairs?" 
EV answers, "No." 
Then I ask her to look at me and tell me the truth. 
She continues to respond with a "No." 
I then tell her that I don't care that she watched TV but that I do care if she tells me the truth. 
She responds with, "No." 
Then I ask her if she promises that she didn't watch TV.
She says, "No." 
Then I ask her if I can go ask grandma.
She frantically says, "No!" 
Then I ask her again, "Okay, then tell me the truth, did you watch TV?"
She proceeds to answer, "No." 

This goes on for a few minutes.  Then I tell her that I am going to believe you because I don't know if you fully understand what it means to lie.  This whole time EV is looking stressed and upset.

Later in the car on our way home after she has had some time to forget about the situation, I ask her again, "EV, when you went downstairs to play with happy and uncle Chris fell asleep, did you watch TV with grandma?" 
She says with a sly smirk, "Yes..." 
I then explained to her that what she did was wrong (not the watching TV but the lying).  I asked her, "EV, can you apologize?" 
EV says, "I am sorry." 
I ask her "Why are you sorry?  What did you do wrong?" 
EV says, "I lied."

The next day, EV spills milk and plays with it.  I turn around and she quickly walks away. 
I ask her if she played with the spilled milk. 
She says "No." 
I think to myself, "Are you serious?!? I thought you learned your lesson yesterday! I just saw you play with the milk and you're going to lie again?!?" 
I say out loud, "EV, remember mommy wants you to tell me the truth.  You will get in more trouble if you lie than if you tell the truth." 

And so we start the lesson all over again.  Lord, please grant me the wisdom and patience to deal with this lying.  Show me when I need to discipline her, love her, forgive her, and teach her. 

The face of a liar:

EV loves her uncle!!

Single Parenting

This past week has been a whirlwind at home and at work.  After having two long peaceful weeks of vacation and personal time, I was thrown right into a week of crazy schedules, no sleep, and to top it off no hubby to help me out.  Jimmy went on a staff retreat (Jeff if you are reading this, please do not do that again immediately after the holidays) this week and I felt like I was hit by a bus.  Granted it didn't help that I had some unpleasant situations come up at work but by Wednesday I felt physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically drained.  It really made me wonder how single parents do it and really give kudos to those who single parent well.  I have a whole new level of respect for single parenting.

Evangeline, this week showed me how much you have matured.  You were so aware of my short temperedness and my tiredness.  You knew when to back off and you were doing your best to be supportive.  You would ask me if I'm tired and if I needed you to rub my belly or scratch my back.  Haha.  You were even forgiving when I fell asleep on you while putting you to bed and in the end you put mommy to bed.  When I woke up again, you had turned off the light and were peacefully sleeping next to me.  You never whined or complained, and you were gracious to me even when I was short with you.  I am sorry you had to go through this week but thankful for the person you are becoming.  You brighten my day with your beautiful smile and you remind me that there is more to life than the hecticness of our schedules.  I love you! 

Sleep Talking

It's been very interesting having EV sleep in our bed with us--for one she doesn't sleep still so we get the obligatory kick in the face or being used as a pillow every night. Another thing she does is talk in her sleep--most times it's not comprehendible but the other night it was clear as day.

I woke up to EV saying, "No, daddy don't take my food" and then she started crying.  No amount of comforting could stop her but when I touched her face there was no tears.  Then Jimmy woke up and asked her why she was crying and all she could say was, "because my food is gone". Poor kid, she was dreaming of her food being taken away from her.  It took awhile for her to stop crying but the crazy thing was she was also asleep the whole time!

EV has been really cracking us up lately.  Last night we hear her door open but when I went to go she what she was up to, she was just lying in bed.  I knew then that she opened the door to check to see if our lights were still on.  The moment we turn off our lights we hear the little pitter patter of her feet, and the next thing we know she has climbed into our bed.

Christmas Traveling

I always feel like whenever we travel, EV grows and develops leaps and bounds.  When we went on our first plane trip to San Diego EV was 7 months old and on the trip she started pulling herself up in the crib.  When we went to Portland she was 18 months and started stringing more words together and was becoming more social.  On this trip, EV is 2.5 months away from turning 3 and it feels like she matured in ways I cannot fully describe.  She's able to articulate more fully what she is thinking, feeling, and wanting.  She just seems to know more and she even seemed to have developed a little more patience and self-control.

We have been talking to EV about this trip for a month.  We like to tell EV bedtime stories and the two she has been asking for us to tell her are the "airplane" and "circus" stories.  So finally it was Christmas morning and we were headed to the airport.  What I absolutely love about EV is how she is able to really take in any situation and make it worth the trip.  She asked a lot of questions, but they were really smart and thoughtful questions--questions I don't mind answering for the most part (although she can get into a "why" mode and then I get frustrated).  She was overall really good and well-behaved.  When we got to Maryland, it was as if we never left last summer.  She greeted everyone, and took her place in grandma's room.  She made herself at home and there was no shyness or uncertainty.  She was comfortable and she felt safe.  Our trip up to New York was really fun (even in the wet snow and rain).  It was worth every bit of the cold to see her eyes light up when we were sitting at the circus or in the taxi looking up at the lights or riding in the train.  I loved seeing her experience the things we have shared with her through books and stories.  It's also so great to talk to her afterwards to hear her thoughts on her own experiences.  To hear her express what made her excited or what stood out to her.  It's funny how she notices things that I would never notice or how she thinks certain things work.

See pics from the trip go here.

This year I want to be better about documenting the things she says.  So often she says things that surprises me or just catches me off guard and I want to be sure to write those things down.  I also want to start doing mommy/daughter dates with EV regularly--not just hang out at home but very specific things like going out for yogurt together or going to the bookstore.  I realized that when I am at home with EV, I easily get distracted by other things and start tuning EV out or only partially pay attention to her.  Last, I want to start cooking/baking with EV.  Yes, you all heard right.  I don't want her to think that only daddy cooks and that mommy just re-heats whatever daddy made.  Even if it's once a week, I want to make meals with EV.

EV's First Christmas Performance

It is so sweet to watch your 2 year old sing and perform on stage with a bunch of other 2-4 year olds.  EV did such a good job singing and doing the body motions (although at times she got distracted by the  guy playing the guitar). Poor kid was so exhausted by the end of it but it was well worth it.  I can't believe it'll be Christmas in less than 5 days!!  Looking forward to lots of posts and quality time with family.  Unfortunately, papa bear had to miss tonight's performance because we double booked the evening (again).  So, it was just momma bear, grandma, and Gina eemo.