17 months!!

I have been so bad about updating this but I promise to try to be better.  There are so many moments and days that go by, when I think, "oh, I should write down what you just did or said" but then by the end of the day I forget or am too tired.

I cannot believe Evangeline is 17 months now.  I know I say that all the time, but it still amazes me how quickly time flies.  EV you have such an amazing personality.  From the day you were born, your quiet and strong-willed nature was so evident, but now as you become more social and develop a sense of humor, your personality is really shining through.  What's amazing to me is how even at 17 months you know how to "work" different people to get your way and as much as it's so clear that you are being manipulative I can't help but to find it absolutely adorable.  You know how to work a crowd and even play hard to get.  Oh boy, are we in trouble.

At the beginning of this month you moved up to the toddler class at school.  That has definitely been an adjustment.  Not only do you have new teachers and an new classroom, but you have to take a nap in a cot instead of a crib and you have more structure to your day.  Although everything is new, I think you are really enjoying the older kids toys and opportunities to do big kid things.  You love slides and playing at the park.  Even though you are so fearful at times, you are also very curious and adventurous.

We have also started informally potty training you.  You tell us constantly when you peepee or poopoo but lately you started letting us know before you go peepee and poopoo.  So, you'll tell us and then we hold hands and run to the bathroom.  I quickly undo your diaper, plop you onto the toilet, and we both look at each other while you wait (and sometimes even strain).  Then you say, "all done", I put the diaper back on, and then you proceed to go in your diaper.  You're a smart kid so I'm sure you'll get it eventually but I am not going to lie, it's not easy running to the bathroom every time you think you have to go.  Last week we bought you a big girl bed as well.  The transition to the new bed will be interesting and I'm sure I will have tons to write up about.  We recently created a new play room for you as well and you love love love to play in here.  The only difference is that it has a new desk, an EV size chair, and all your toys in one place.  You love sitting at your desk and coloring or playing with play doh.

You have also become really good at doing puzzles.  You have a few that you have mastered and you enjoy doing them over and over again.  The puzzles are matching letters, shapes, numbers, and animals.

You continue to enjoy reading books.  You're favorite as of late is "If you give a mouse a cookie" and "The quiet book."  You have gotten really good at putting your finger to your mouth and saying "shhhh."  You are not as afraid of your stuffed animals as you used to be, especially your dolls, but you continue to be afraid of other people's stuffed animals (until you warm up to them).  You are still very uneasy when you are in a new surrounding and you get startled easily.  Although you are known to be serious, you also have one of the most amazing smiles.  It lights up a room and brightens up my day.

You are momma's little helper already.  You love wiping down the floor with a rag and throwing things into the trash.  When I put you in your highchair or carseat or stroller, you immediately grab your straps and try to buckle yourself in.  You remind me if I forget to give you your bib, especially if the food is messy and you are constantly asking to wash your hands, especially after a diaper change.  Yes, you insist that we wash YOUR hands after a diaper change.  There was even a day when I was about to walk out without my lunch, and you start calling out to me, when I turned around and looked at you, you pointed to my lunch.  

EV, you continue to be a great eater.  You love food and you eat well.  You also drink out of a regular cup.  The only time you spill is when you are not paying attention and you knock it over, but you drink out of it perfectly, as if you have been drinking out of a cup your whole life.  You also handle a fork and a spoon very well.  You pretty much feed yourself now, and you do not like it when we try to help.

You also enjoy your sleep.  You are now down to one nap successfully.  When you nap at home, you will sleep for at least 2 hours solid. When you nap at school, we are lucky if you nap for an hour, but I am hoping that will change after you get used to sleeping on the cot.  You are also so much verbal than you were even a week ago.  Each day you pick up new words and it's so much fun hearing you attempt them.  You are a very good communicator and you pick up on both verbal and non-verbal cues very quickly.  You are saying so many words now, but the ones that are clear and that you say often are, "up" "bubbles" "bib" "bbang" (Korean word for bread) "mong mong" (Korean dog barking) "appa" "ooos" (shoes) "baby" "bye-bye" "hi" "eesssss" (cheese) "mul" (Korean for water).  You say many many more words, but they come and go and are not always very clear.  You also still use your sign language and your sounds for the words you do not feel comfortable saying.  You love music and you love to dance.  We were at Mina and Tae's wedding and during one of the songs, you clapped and danced the whole time.  It was one of the most precious moments.

I promise to be better at documenting the little things, especially since those are my favorite moments.  Daddy and I love you very much.  Every night before we go to bed, we sneak into your room and just watch you sleep.  In those moments, we pray for you and just enjoy watching you.

Potty Training--Ready or Not?

So, according to grandma when pappa was 9 months old, he took his diaper off, hopped on the toilet, and potty trained himself.  And supposedly your momma was potty trained pretty early as well.  So, I know you are only 15 months old, but I think you might be ready to be potty trained (and genetically you're late).  Lately every time you pee or poop, you grab your diaper to let me know.  Although you didn't care much in the past, you are very uncomfortable when your diaper is full, especially after a poop.  And the last few times, you have pooped in the bathtub (too bad we didn't get a video of that!).  Don't worry, we will go at your pace, but the next time you make your poopy face, I am putting you on the potty.  I'll let you know how it goes...

You have also been into playing hide and seek and stacking blocks.  It's so much fun just watching you play.  Here is a video of you playing with your blocks.

Great grandmother

June was such a crazy month for all of us, with momma bear traveling to Florida, Maryland, and California and your great grandmother sick in Korea.  So, last minute, I decided to go visit her since it's been over 10 years since I last saw her.  It was actually your pappa that convinced me to go.  He said that if this is possibly the last time I will see her, that I should go.  So, wedged between the Florida and Maryland trip I made a 6 day trip to Korea.  I don't even know where to start to tell you about how amazing your great grandmother was.  She was a fighter, she never let anything bring her down and was such strength for her family.  She was an amazing woman of faith.  She endured so much in her lifetime but never complained and always made a life lesson out of it.  She loved your grandmother, your momma bear, and you beyond any of our comprehension.  When I went to go see her, she was sick, but well enough to recognize me, to talk to me, and to even make me promise her that I would bring the whole family out to Korea to see her next year.  She really believed that she was going to get better--if only her body was as strong as her mind. Your great grandmother passed on July 1--your grandmother's birthday.  Don't worry, I will tell you stories of her and never let you forget how great of a woman she was, because our family would not be who we are without her.

Grandma, I miss you so much!  I am so glad that I had the opportunity to see you one last time before you passed.  I look forward to the day that I can see you again in Heaven.  I love you!!

Catch up

This is a catch up entry--so warning everyone it's going to be long...

So, let's start with today.  It's father's day and first and foremost I am reminded of how blessed I am to have a father that loves me so unconditionally.  Growing up, my dad worked really hard for our family and endured a lot of hardship for us.  He instilled in me a sense of worth and pride while at the same time he taught me humility and good work ethics.  I love my dad and am very grateful for our relationship today.  I always said as a child that I wanted to marry someone like my dad, and interestingly enough, some parts of Jimmy is a lot like my dad.  One similar thing is their dedication, love, and willingness to go out of their way for their daughter.  Thank you Jimmy for being such an amazing father and husband.  You work tirelessly to support us, love us, and provide for us and we are so very grateful that God has blessed us with a man like you in our lives.  We love you very much!

Evangeline, this month has been such a crazy month, and your pappa has been so supportive through it all. When your greatgrandmother (my mommy's mom) was very sick, your pappa told me to stop thinking about it and to just buy tickets all the way to Korea and go see her because this will probably be the last time.  While I was in Korea, he took such good care of you and we skyped twice a day (thank you technology) so that you wouldn't forget your momma.  I think while I was away for the week, you lost your confidence, because when I got back you had developed really bad separation anxiety and was really whiny and clingy.  It makes me sad because I have to leave again soon for a work trip and I don't want you to think that I am deserting you.

You are now 15 months old and it's amazing how much you have grown since last month.  You are now shaking your head "no" to everything.  I think you find it amusing and fun, and I think you like the amount of control you have when you do say "no."  At first I thought it was nice, cause I didn't have to guess anymore, I would ask if you wanted this or that, and you would say yes or no, but now it seems like everything is a no.  Hopefully, you'll get over this stage soon.  You are also saying more words or sounds.  You say "go" when you want to go somewhere, you say "boo" for book, "ah gah" for all done or no, "up" for up, "ee guh" for this, "bao" for ball, and "babee" for baby.  All your other sounds are not very distinguishable yet but you babble quite a bit and get frustrated with us when we do not always understand.  You love sliding down slides, chasing after animals (although when they get near they scare you), playing outside and in the fountain, feeding yourself, and reading books.  You love to eat and everyday it's a new favorite.  You will love one thing for a couple days and then do not want anything to do it.  Currently you are into cantaloupe, dumplings, egg whites, and tofu but this changes constantly.  There are days when you are confident, fearless, and full of adventure.  Those are the days when you chase the birds and want to walk off the edge of the pier into a body of water.  Those are the days when you approach strangers, talk to them, and walk off regardless of whether we are around.  And then there are days when you are full of fear, uncertainty, and bashfulness.  Those are the days when you freak out seeing a small spider on the wall or lose it when you see the church nursery because you don't want us to leave you.  Those are the days you want to be held, cling on so tightly, and bury your head in between my legs.  Regardless of what kind of day you are having, you are so beautiful, smart, and loveable, and we would not trade you for anyone else.  We love you so much, baby girl, and we look forward to each new day.

P.S.  I tried adding two videos but it's taking way too long so maybe next time

Pushing boundaries

It's so amazing how much Evangeline has grown since her first birthday.  It's been an exponential growth, leaps and bounds.  This past week has been a challenging week though.  I think it's the first time I really questioned my ability to be a good parent.  I picked EV up on Tuesday after school like any other school day.  They said that she ate well, slept well, played well, and was in good spirits all day.  We got home and played a little before I started getting dinner ready.  Well, it was pretty much downhill after that.  EV just kept on having these hysterical meltdowns.  At first I thought it was because she was really hungry (even after eating two breakfasts, once at home and once at school, three snacks, and a full lunch) but it just continued until she went to bed.  I started off being firm with her and disciplining her but that only made it worse.  Then I tried ignoring her but that made it even worse than when I disciplined her.  I started feeling very frantic, is she sick, did I miss something, is it something I did?  In the end, all I could do was get her fed, washed up, clothed, and in bed (which was not an easy task since she was kicking and screaming most of the time).  After I put her in bed (which made her stop immediately), I sat down to reflect.  It made me realize how on most days, EV is a really easy baby.  It made me grateful for all the times we've had up until that day.  At the same time, I was really worried, is this how EV will behave from now on?  Unfortunately, it continued throughout the week but once I realized that she wasn't sick or in danger and that really she was just pushing her boundaries, it helped me to know how to pray, ask others for guidance, and pray some more.

Today was a good day.  We went to church, came home and had a short morning nap, ate lunch, and went to Barnes and Noble.  EV, you love little chairs.  You spent the whole time getting in and out of the chairs at the store.  You did this for nearly an hour!!  Afterwards, we came home, you took a longer afternoon nap, had dinner, and went down to bed.  You have been trying to figure out how to prolong your bedtime routine for a few weeks now.  Today, you were very funny.  I usually read you your books while you drink your milk.  Usually you drink your milk really fast, so I usually have time to read you 2-3 books.  Well, today, after about 20 mins of reading, I asked you if you were all done with your milk.  You were holding your cup so that I couldn't see the contents inside but I noticed that there was about 1/2 an ounce left.  So, I said we'll read until you finished your milk.  Well, it sounded like you were drinking but the milk wasn't disappearing.  That's when I realized that you were drinking and spitting the milk back in the cup to prolong the time.  So, I said, "EV it's time for bed, all done."  I picked you up, and you quickly finished the rest of your milk, and pointed to the bed (you used to put your head down on my shoulders and let me rock you for a little bit).  But lately, once you're done with your milk and your books, you don't want to cuddle, you just want to sleep.  So, I asked for a hug and a kiss, which you very sweetly gave me, and I put you in your crib.  Well, I am not ready to give up my cuddle time, so I tucked you in and continued to stroke your back.  At that point, you looked up at me, waved bye bye (telling me to leave) and put your head back down.  So, I gave you another kiss and left you to sleep.  You are already more independent than I am ready for you to be.  Oh how will your teenage years be?

Happy Anniversary!!

I cannot believe that I have been married for 6 years!  Time really does fly.  We've definitely have had our ups and our downs but God has really grown me through it all.  I would not be the person I am today if it weren't for all the joys and trials.  So, thank you for 6 wonderful years and I look forward to many many more!  We celebrated last night with dinner and a movie.  It's amazing how something so simple can be such a fun date.  It was nice to be able to have a conversation over dinner and relax watching a movie without worrying about a little toddler.  I feel so blessed to have my parents and my sister close by that they can babysit so that Jimmy and I can have some alone time.  It also reminded me that this is something we need to do more regularly.  Date nights are important we definitely can't take it for granted.  

Today we took EV to the park and played in a water fountain.  She was having sooooo much fun, she did not want to leave.  Here she is embracing the shooting water.

Mother's Day

Being a momma myself, it makes me realize how little I show my love and appreciation to my own momma on most days.  If EV treats me the way I treat my momma sometimes, I would be so hurt and upset.  It also humbles me and makes me want to be more like my momma.  It doesn't matter what I do (or don't do), how I say things (or don't say things), or what I think--my momma has always been there for me.  I hope I can be half as good a momma to EV as my momma was to me and my sister. 

Me and my momma

This mother's day, it also made me realize how great of a husband I have.  How supportive and loving he is and how blessed I am to have him here loving me and EV.   I know that I am not the perfect momma and I know I have quite a bit of growing to do, but it is encouraging to know that I have people around me that love me and are willing to be patient with me as I learn and grow. 
 
Evangeline, for this mother's day, you made me a placemat.  Your teacher was telling me that while other kids were trying to put as many flowers on the mat as possible, you would take your time and make sure each flower was on correctly before you moved on to placing another flower on the mat.  It just shows how at 13 months you are systematic and thorough.  I love how now you will just come grab my neck and give me big hugs, how you will blow kisses at me, and just be more affectionate then you've ever been.  You make being a momma totally worth it!  Thank you for being my beautiful daughter.  I love you more than you'll ever know.